“If you are who you say you are, where were you when I needed you?”
“When all you see is your pain, you lose sight of me”
God is always with me. I know that, and I can logically accept that. It makes sense, that since I believe in Christ, and I accept him, all of him, that during the ups and the downs, and during the highs and the lows, Jesus is there. He is greater than the highs and the lows, stronger and mightier than anything in the world.
But when MY world begins to fall apart, where is he then? When my prayers come up empty, or unheard. When my life just isn’t working out? What happens to me, when God decides i’m too much, and leaves me in my storm.
Logically I can accept that Jesus is always there. But in my heart it can be hard to accept that 100% of the time.
For those of you who may have not seen or read The Shack, it is a story of a man named Mack, who goes through a great tragedy that will forever alter his life. He then goes into a period of “Great Sadness”. He ends up meeting the Holy Trinity, and reconciling with Papa, Jesus and the Holy Spirit, but not before 3 days of change, heartbreak, and peace. Mack comes back a changed man, because he experiences God Love upfront, real and personal. He comes back a changed man, because he accepts God plan for him, and through his tragedy, he finds healing and peace.
All of this is grand and good, but I walked out of the theater, and I did not get it. And it wasn’t until walking home from school, that it hit me like a ton of bricks.
My pain is temporary. God’s plan is forever.
This is a cliche statement. This is something you’re taught in Sunday School at age six, and reiterated until it was stuck in your brain. But reiterate it some more, because it’s so true.
Romans 8:18: 18 I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us.
Now, I have never gone through a tragedy like Mack, the main character in the movie. I have not had a great loss, or something I fully blame myself for.
However, everyone has struggles, and everyone has pain. Everyone has asked the question
“God, where are you in the midst of all of this pain? Where are you in the midst of my struggle? Where are you in the midst of all of THIS”
Think of it as a graph on a calculator. If you put x=100 into the Y1, you’re not going to see it on the average graph, which only stretches from -10 to 10. That -10 to 10 range is our life. Our plan is x=100.
This analogy will not make sense if you are not in highschool, or not in a profession where you use a graphing calculator on a daily basis. So think of it this way.
You are 1 person, zoomed in really really close on only you’re face for awhile, and you might even begin to forget there are other people in the world, working around you. Your face becomes all someone can focus on, and they lose sight of the rest of the moving pieces.
In pain, the only person there seems to be mad is is God. If the pain cannot be given to a human form, it it so so so so so so so so easy to give it to God. To place the blame, and be mad, and yell, and to curse, and scream and cry. To yell, and to question. To doubt to and to pray and the yell some more.
“Being real with God is not a lack of faith, being real with God requires so much faith”
Where is God when I need him most? Working in my life, out of my range. My pain is temporary, an God’s plan is forever.
By accepting this fact, my soul will still doubt, and my heart will still break. I will still question God, and I will still blame.
But a few seconds after the blame is cast, I will remember, he is who is greater than me, and is working in this world. He is working amdist my pain and suffering, to remind me he is still here and working.